Author’s note: I do not really write fiction. With the exception of a few video scripts I wrote years ago, I haven’t really written any fiction at all. I don’t know if that makes this story bad, but I also don’t know if it will end up good. I wanted to do something different over the holiday weekend, and this is that, for better or worse.
Very moving! I would definitely say it's worth polishing up - a quick pass by another set of eyes to remove distracting inconsistencies (like "the other seven days of the week") would go a long way!
Wonderful story. I did find the idea of people missing details a bit jarring. If they were so distracted as to forget chairs, I highly doubt they could have successfully built an advanced robot or a house that wouldn't fall apart at the first stiff breeze.
Now I'm very curious: Does that sentence mean that you didn't edit that text AT ALL? Did you write your draft the way people had to write drafts before the era of computers?
I like your story; especially the sci-fi twist that lets the robot 'read' Bob's mind. It is essentially an exploration of loneliness, yes? Very common in modern societies, but not much talked about. Also characters like Bob (older men) aren't interesting to anyone around them most of the time.
That being said, I found it a bit unbelievable that governments would put up so much effort and money for a singular case out of guilt. In fact, they did not in the past; see, for example, typhoid Mary. Maybe a rich benefactor feeling particularly philanthropic would make more sense?
I really enjoyed that. Thanks.
Possible edit: was a clause left out of this sentence?
<With execution off the table because (as even Bob had to acknowledge), work had begun on a containment facility. >
Very moving! I would definitely say it's worth polishing up - a quick pass by another set of eyes to remove distracting inconsistencies (like "the other seven days of the week") would go a long way!
Wonderful story. I did find the idea of people missing details a bit jarring. If they were so distracted as to forget chairs, I highly doubt they could have successfully built an advanced robot or a house that wouldn't fall apart at the first stiff breeze.
> "I’m sending this out unedited"
Now I'm very curious: Does that sentence mean that you didn't edit that text AT ALL? Did you write your draft the way people had to write drafts before the era of computers?
Congratulations. It's got emotion. That's such a terribly hard thing to do.
I like your story; especially the sci-fi twist that lets the robot 'read' Bob's mind. It is essentially an exploration of loneliness, yes? Very common in modern societies, but not much talked about. Also characters like Bob (older men) aren't interesting to anyone around them most of the time.
I really enjoyed this story, too.
That being said, I found it a bit unbelievable that governments would put up so much effort and money for a singular case out of guilt. In fact, they did not in the past; see, for example, typhoid Mary. Maybe a rich benefactor feeling particularly philanthropic would make more sense?